


The Arrangement

by onapage



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Awkward Relationships, Child Bride Loki, Fluff, Gen, Jötunn Loki, No Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-25
Updated: 2013-10-25
Packaged: 2017-12-30 10:32:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1017540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onapage/pseuds/onapage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor has always been grateful for the distance between Midgard and the rest of the Nine.  It has allowed him to keep his duties as a prince of Asgard separate from his life as an Avenger.  When Loki shows up, all his careful arrangements become terribly entangled.</p><p>Norsekink prompt: child bride!kid!Loki (arranged, political marriage) shows up at the Avengers manor because he's bored, okay, so bored, Asgard is dull when Thor isn't there, and Asgard is rather happy to have a break from his mischief and Thor must keep him.<br/>http://norsekink.livejournal.com/7418.html?thread=15202554#t15202554</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

As the latest concrete-eating, giant wurm burst through New York's Bleecker Street, Tony thanked his own genius for including jet boots, because damn, it would suck to be on the ground right now.  The rest of the Avengers, unfortunately, were having a harder time of it.

Hawkeye had scaled a second-hand music shop and was firing incendiary arrows while Captain America and Black Widow guarded his position below and tried to not get eaten.  The beasts were controlled by a giant gorilla-like alien made of sand that Thor and the Hulk were fighting, but every blow they struck caused the sand to blow apart and reform without injury.  Tony's job was to keep everyone alive, mostly by firing rockets everywhere.  
  
The Hulk smashed into the sand creature, scattering half of its body across the street like a temporary beach.  Instead of reforming, the sand rose up around Thor's ankles and thighs like a vise. The Norse god struggled against the growing binding before starting to spin Mjölnir in preparation of flight.  The remaining half of the creature lurched forward, and with one, long swing of its arm, sent Thor flying through a bistro, the building behind it, and out into the street beyond.  
  
"Okay there, big guy?" Tony flew higher to get a better angle to cover Thor from the fighting below.  Thor grunted, rolling sideways, and Tony realized the sand trapping his legs was still clinging to him and had bound his knees together.  Iron Man flipped his communicator to 'all channels.'  "Hey, guys, I've gotta go help Thor get rid of some sand in uncomfortable places."  
  
All of the wurms had come through on Bleecker Street in what Tony could only conclude was stand-up comedy vendetta, so he figured he should be forgiven for only thinking about the danger coming from directly blow.  
  
The two wurms that burst through on _Bond_ Street, rushing Thor from both sides, sent a nasty swoop of adrenaline through Tony.  Tony fired a gauntlet of rockets at one, shredding it and the storefront behind it, but his angle meant that the same treatment for the other wurm would rip the thing apart and go right on into Thor.  His jet boots flared to full power as he tried to maneuver for a clear shot when a kid appeared between Thor and the charging wurm.  
  
The kid held up his hand, palm flat, and a giant spear of ice ripped through the wurm's open mouth and out its back.  The kid turned on Thor, crouching down at his side, and Tony rushed as fast as he could to get down there.  
  
"Back away, kid," he ordered as he touched down.  He set the repulsor rays in his gloves to only a low-level stun, but he wasn't looking forward to firing on a kid, regardless.  The kid gave him a disdainful look and set his hand on Thor's hip, challenging.  Tony gritted his teeth.  
  
"Do not touch him, Stark," Thor ordered.  
  
The kid's hands moved down Thor's legs and in their wake, ice swallowed the sand.  After punching the ice around his hips to pieces, Thor sat up and used his strength to crack the popsicle coating his legs and pull it off.  The kid's hands were blue-skinned.  That and his armor made it pretty obvious he was another inter-dimensional traveler from Asgard.  
  
"Are you all right?" the kid murmured, hands resting on Thor's ankles even after ice had fully coated his boots.  Thor reached out and ran a hand through the kid's black hair.  
  
"You should not be here, Loki."  He slide his hand down to cup the boy's cheek.  "It's too dangerous."  
  
Loki scowled.  "I swore to face all dangers with you.  Do not make light of my vows."    
  
Thor sighed, and Tony decided to help him out and be the bad guy here.  "Sorry, kiddo, we've got strict rules on Earth regarding child labor laws.  No one under sixteen allowed to fight intergalactic evil.  Between sixteen and eighteen, you're allowed to fight super-villainy for ten hours a week with proper adult supervision, but you've got a little growing to do, so.   Either you get out of here, or we're going to have to escort you to safety."  
  
The kid crossed his arms over his chest.  "Don't condescend me.  Neither of those things will happen because Thor and I are going to kill that scarlak.  Together."  
  
"Loki, will you please consider leaving?  I would be greatly relieved to know you are safe."  
  
"And what about me?"  Loki turned his indignation on Thor.  "How am I supposed to stand by and watch you throw yourself into a danger you cannot defeat?"  
  
"Where the hell are you guys?" Black Widow called over the com.  
  
"Sorry, problem with a kid.  Be there in a sec."  
  
"There's a child here?"  Tony could practically here Captain America's mind grinding away to form a plan to get some hypothetical innocent child to safety--hypothetical, because there certainly weren't any here.  
  
"Not a problem, Cap.  Focus on your own fight."  He flipped back on the outside speakers.  "Okay, kid--"  
  
"Loki."  
  
"Loki.  Right.  Here's the deal.  We don't have time to waste, so how 'bout you tell us what plan you think you've come up with?" _So we can shoot it down and get back to work._  
  
" _I_ am going to use this."  He clasped his hands together and when he pulled them apart, there was a box between his palms.  
  
"The Casket of Ancient Winters."  Thor looked astonished.  "How do you have it?"  
  
"It _is_ mine," Loki said, peevish.  "And the Queen Mother suggested I take it to protect myself."  
  
"Okay, kid, I'm sure that box is really important to you, but we don't have time--"  
  
"Nay, Stark.  The casket is an extremely powerful tool.  I'm afraid we would be fools to turn down Loki's assistance."  Thor looked frustrated, but Loki beamed, all sulkiness evaporating.  Tony thought he looked more childlike than ever.  
  
They really didn't have time to argue, so the trio ran through the breaches in the buildings created by Thor's trajectory.  On the other side, Bleecker Street was more holes than road, and they got there just in time to see the sand creature throw the Hulk down one of them.  
  
Loki darted out, opening the box.  Bright light spilled out over the kid's hands, and a shrieking wind rose, funneled by the buildings.  The sand alien turned, but ice was already racing to form a thick crust on the asphalt.  One step, and the ice settled lightly like a second skin.  Two steps, and there would be no more, because the creature was frozen in place.    
  
The kid had also turned fully blue, which, weird side effect, but not something Tony could really focus on because it wasn't over yet.  He could see the sand writhing beneath the ice, looking for a new form to escape in.  
  
"Thor!" Loki shouted above the wind.  "I've left a small opening at the top of his head and the bottom of his left foot."  Thor whirled Mjölnir, and the skies darkened with rain-heavy clouds.  "Do you see it?" Loki called, and Thor nodded, grinning.    
  
Lightning struck, blinding, the thunder loud enough to temporarily deafen.  Tony blinked dark spots from his eyes and saw the sand wasn't moving because it was gone.  All that was left under the ice was glass.  With a roar, Thor launched himself at the new sculpture and swung Mjölnir down.  A few good smashes and the thing was only a pile of shards.  
  
He turned, jubilant.  "Loki--” The smile slid off his face.  "Loki!"  
  
Tony pivoted to find the kid had wandered over to one of the holes and seemed to be trying to climb in while cradling the magic ice box in one hand.  Thor raced over and scooped the kid up with one hand.  
  
"Thor, put me down!  I'm not a child anymore."  Loki squirmed in his grip, but Tony noticed that the kid made the box vanish and threw his arms around Thor's neck anyway.  
  
"You cannot wander off--"  
  
"I wasn't _wandering_.  I was going to freeze those Argothian wurms and finish this battle!"  
  
"The Cask of Ancient Winters does not make you invincible, Loki.  You must stay where I can protect you."  Thor attached Mjölnir to his belt and raised his hand to Loki's cheek.  Under his fingertips, the kid's skin paled, and the lighter coloring spread out over his face.  
  
Loki turned his cheek further into Thor's palm and looked down, pouting.  "Don't be mad."  

Thor sighed.  
  
"Hey, Stark, where'd you pick up a Smurf?" Clint asked.  Tony turned to find the trio picking their way across the Swiss cheese landscape.  
  
"What happened to the overgrown worms?"  
  
"Only two left, and Hulk's having fun."  There was a roar, and half a worm and the Hulk popped up through a hole.  "One more, buddy!" Clint called, holding one finger up high.  The Hulk gave a grunt and disappeared back into the ground.  
  
"Hello," Captain America introduced himself to the kid, offering his hand.  Loki shook it with overblown dignity, which Tony found hilarious.  The Captain didn't so much as twitch, which is why he was their PR go-to guy.  He introduced the rest of the Avengers and got Loki's name in return.    
  
"Well, I want to thank you for your help today."  The kid beamed again.  When Steve settled down and had kids, he'd be a great dad.  "And what brings you to Earth?"  
  
"Thor."  Loki wrapped his arms around Thor's neck.  "The palace has been boring without him, so I've been scrying and watching his adventures."  Thor looked worried at that.  "And today I saw you were fighting a most mighty foe, so I asked the Queen Mother for permission to come help, and she gave it!"  
  
"You were a big help today, Loki."  Cap had his "good job, kiddo" face on.  "But in the future, I think you should leave the fighting to adults, okay?  Maybe you can join the Avengers when you're older."  
  
"No."    
  
Hah, Tony thought.  There's the brat.    
  
"I will be staying with Thor here on Midgard for the foreseeable future."  
  
"Loki--"  
  
"It has already been approved."  The kid raised his chin, looking every inch spoiled royalty.  
  
"I will be talking to mother," Thor grumbled.  Tony tried not to laugh.  
  
"How are you two related anyway?" Black Widow asked.  "Brothers?  Cousins?"  
  
Loki puffed up like an offended cat.  He locked his ankles around Thor's waist and hugged his arms around his neck even tighter.  Tony thought Thor could let him go, and the kid would just hang there like a limpet.  
  
"I'm not his _cousin_."  Loki gave her a nasty stink-eye.  "I'm his wife."


	2. Chapter 2

Before the Avengers could do more than talk over one another, Coulson got on the com and ordered their asses back to the tower for a debriefing.   
  
"Loki and I will fly," Thor announced, and Tony couldn't fault the guy, considering Black Widow looked ready to tear some answers out of Thor, and Hawkeye seemed prepared to back her up.  The kid gave them a look like he thought all of them were being completely ridiculous, and he enjoyed every minute of it.  
  
"Yes, let's race the Iron Man," Loki decided.  Thor shot Tony an apologetic look and then took off without a word.  
  
"Hey!" Tony called, firing up his jet boots.  Not that it mattered.  Thor might have a mighty hammer, but Tony was Iron Man, and these jets were Stark Industries technology.  When ancient man was rubbing sticks together to make fire and telling stories about speedy Norse Gods, they couldn't have even imagined Mach 8.  
  
Tony was going to win, but he could be a good sport about it.  He caught up with the pair easily, teasingly pulled ahead and then dialed back the thrusters to let Thor catch him.  He kept it up all the way to the tower, adding on just enough speed to put some distance between them, then rewarding Thor's efforts with an incremental slow down so he'd naturally catch up.  Sometimes he even fell behind, just to give them a fleeting taste of victory before he roared back into the lead.  He touched down first, of course, because while Tony was a good sport, he was not a good loser.    
  
"He beat you!"  The kid looked like Tony'd hit his world right off its axis, which was always good for the ego.  
  
"Stark is a very strong warrior."  Thor set Loki down, and the kid ran over to watch his robots dismantle the suit.    
  
"Your name is mounted on the building very prominently." The kid's eyes darted hungrily from one piece to the next as they were pulled off.  "Is it a monument to your great deeds?"  
  
Tony barked out a laugh.  "No, just to my money."    
  
The robots finished and withdrew with his armor back into the panels in the roof's deck.  Loki dropped to his knees and ran his fingers along the cracks in the surface, green light sparking under his fingertips.  
  
"There's no magic here."  Loki looked up.  "How does it work?"  
  
"Short answer, science."  Which is all the answer Thor had ever needed, but the kid was still staring at him.  "If you're really interested, I'll have JARVIS give you the run down."  
  
"Where can I find Jarvis?"  
  
"I am always at hand, sir."   
  
Loki jumped to his feet, spinning to find its source, but the roof was clearly empty except for the three of them.  "Why do you hide in the shadows?  Reveal yourself!"  
  
"There is no one hiding," Thor explained.  "Stark has made his house itself talk with science."  
  
"Oh." Loki's eyes widened in surprise. "Then I am pleased to meet your acquaintance."  Loki bowed to the building, exactly like Thor had done after learning about JARVIS.  "Thor, I am almost cross with you for not inviting me sooner.  Midgard is full of wonders.  I am never going back!"  
  
Thor shot Tony a dirty look, but he could only shrug.  It wasn't Tony's fault his life was awesome.  

The elevator dinged open, revealing Coulson.  Tony would pay good money to see footage of Coulson's face when Loki announced himself as Thor's child bride.  
  
"We're having a debriefing now.  Conference room one."    
  
"Right now?" Tony feigned shock.  Usually if the threat was eliminated, they'd have an hour or two to shower, patch up injuries, and get a scotch or three.  Of course, these weren't usual circumstances.  
  
"Immediately."

"Well.  This just confirms what I've always known."  Tony kept one eye on Thor patiently explaining to Loki why making all the elevator's floor buttons light up was a Bad Idea.  The kid hit a couple extra anyways.  
  
Coulson held out for a long time, but Stark Tower was very tall and they had a lot of floors to go.  "And what's that?"  
  
"You are just an incorrigible gossip."  Coulson's expression remained nonplussed.  The man didn't even raise an eyebrow.  
  
"And Tony Stark isn't curious at all?"  
  
Tony shrugged.  His initial reaction had been swooping nausea, the kind that left even Tony Stark flat-footed and dumbstruck.  The sensation still caught him up if he tried to think through the particulars. Tony had a very good imagination, and that was not where he wanted his to take him.  But the kid had travelled across the galaxy to see Thor, and right now the god of thunder was leaning down, listening patiently as Loki exclaimed about his popping ears.  Until he heard otherwise, Tony was going to assume the best of the situation.  
  
Conference room one had been built with big egos in mind, which made it perfect for the Avengers team.  Everything was oversized, and the chairs were plush, ergonomic thrones.  Another chair had been added to the table, which was impressive considering you couldn't just pick one of those up at IKEA.    
  
"Loki, why don't you see if this chair is comfortable enough for you."  Coulson subtly herded the kid from Thor's side, shooting a look over his head for their Norse god to stay put.  When Loki hesitated halfway, Coulson brought out a bag of gummy worms to lure him the rest of the distance.  
  
 _Well played,_ Tony thought.  
  
Loki sat down, pronounced the best money could buy acceptable, and took his first, hesitant bite of neon green worm.  
  
"This is delicious."  He took a quick, second bite.  "However did your cooks transmute worms into such a wonderful delicacy?"  Coulson explained the nature of gummy worms, that they were colored for children's amusement, and yes, the entire bag was Loki's.  "And what is the proper etiquette for eating these treats?"  
  
"There's no wrong way to eat a gummy worm," Tony cut in.  "Pull them apart, tie 'em in knots, create a chain, whatever.  Have fun."  Insultingly, Loki glanced at Coulson first for the agent's nod before digging into the bag with enthusiasm.    
  
Conference room one also had an excellent bar because this was Stark Tower and Tony had a reputation to uphold, so he got his two fingers of scotch after all.  Coulson motioned over the kid's head for him to join the party at the conference room door while Loki decimated his pile of sugar.  He seemed to enjoy biting the worms in half where they changed color, or half-biting onto one end and pulling to see how long they could stretch.

"We'll have the full debriefing when the team arrives," Coulson said quietly, one eye watching Loki, as the kid swung his legs back and forth and put two gummy worms in his mouth, stretching their ends out like tusks.  "But you're going to answer a few questions before I let you near that kid again."  
  
Thor startled.  
  
"Do you get why we're so weirded out?" Tony asked.  "I mean, he looks really young."   
  
"Loki is quite young," Thor agreed, slowly.  "He's--"

"Your child bride?" Coulson prompted, hard-edged.  
  
"My friends." Thor paused, clearly baffled.  "Loki and I, our union was politically necessary.  I know this country elects its leaders on a short cycle, so such a gesture would be meaningless--” Thor had been pretty horrified when he'd first learned about democracy.  Putting him next to Steve during the nightly news was always good for a laugh.  "--but surely you have some understanding of the concept.  I know your history was dominated by monarchs only a few hundred years ago."  
  
"We understand the concept just fine," Coulson replied.  "That's the problem."  Thor looked like he had no idea what to make of that comment. "The real question is how...completely is he your spouse?"  
  
"Completely!" Loki retorted from behind Tony's elbow.  
  
"Shit!" Tony startled.  He hadn't even realized the kid had moved, much less snuck up on them.  He turned, and there was Loki behind him, stretching himself as tall as possible and brimming with indignation.  Loki was also still sitting in his chair, looking the other direction and swinging his feet lazily.  

"Loki, eavesdropping is wrong," Thor chided, unperturbed by him popping up out of nowhere.  
  
"Not when they are trying to get you to renounce your vows!"  
  
Coulson unbuttoned his suit jacket and squatted down to Loki's height.  "Loki, we’re just trying to make sure you aren’t unhappy with being married so young.  On Earth, we don't let people who look as young as you do even get married, because a lot of the time, they don't really know what they want and after they get married, they find they don't really want to be.  Is that something you've felt or thought about since your marriage?"  
  
Loki looked as bewildered as Thor had.  "Why would I be unhappy with Thor?  I'm the one who chose _him_."  Coulson and Loki became locked in a very confused staring match.  
  
"Oh come on," Tony broke in, "are we really going to ignore the clone just sitting there?"  The distant Loki became limned in golden light, his edges and features starting to blur out until the light broke into a thousand sparks and the sitting boy was gone--all without a look or gesture from the kid.  
  
"Loki is a very talented sorcerer," Thor explained.  "It is why he was chosen for our match."  
  
"Wait, now I'm confused on who proposed to whom."  Tony was going to need another drink soon.  
  
Thor smiled.  "It is a story I would be happy to tell.  And I am glad, Son of Coul, that you are so concerned with Loki's happiness.  As Loki has decided to stay on Midgard for a while, I hope you will continue to look out for him."  He looked to Loki, who relaxed back down to his normal height.  
  
"I apologize for my assumptions, and thank you for your concern, Coul's Son--” Loki bowed his head. "--which, however gracious, is unnecessary."  
  
Tony took a sip to hide his snort of laughter.

"Right.  Well--” Coulson stood up, buttoned his suit jacket.  "I think your story should wait until the whole team gets here."  
  
"Do we have to wait completely, or can we at least get some spoilers?"    
  
Coulson's slanted look warned Tony to shut up.  
  
"I wish to finish the gummy worms if there are no further questions at this time," Loki announced.  "Thor, do you like gummy worms?"  
  
"I have never sampled them."  
  
Loki brightened.  "Then I can share mine with you."  He pulled Thor back to the table, and Tony couldn't figure out if it was childish whim or clever maneuvering to so neatly remove Thor from the uncomfortable situation.  
  
"Thor's going to have his hands full when that kid grows up."  
  
Coulson grimaced.  "I really don't know what to make of it.  The concept is horrible, but the reality is--"  
  
"Complicated.  Usually is for us."    
  
Coulson raised an eyebrow.  
  
"All right, not in the sense of underage spouses.  That's new.  But, come on: they're alien princes with magical powers.  The culture gap is more like a canyon."  
  
"SHIELD is reserving judgment for now, mostly because of Thor's service and because he's a good guy.  But, Stark, even good people can do bad things unthinkingly if their culture condones it."  
  
"Well, knowing Thor, it's at least going to be a hell of story.”  
  
They watched Loki gift Thor a chain of three gummy worms knotted together, which he accepted with courtly grace.  
  
“Probably some good ribbing material, too." 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was scrolling through my tumblr when I saw an ask on lokizilla for a link to the second chapter of a child bride!Loki fic, and I was like "oh, I'd like to read that"...and then I clicked it and realized it was my own fic, and I had the third chapter sitting on my hard drive 99% done. So, a big thanks to beckerbell for the reminder to post this thing!

"You all should know the tale of how I first came to Midgard:  the sorceress Amora wounded my pride, and I chased her to Muspelheim to take recompense.  There, she tricked me into breaking the seals on Surtr's prison with Mjölnir."

Surtr's sword had been the first blade to push Mjölnir back.  Thor had given ground, his feet sliding on the loose, sandy gravel.  Surtr had laughed as his shadow fell over the prince, the fire giant two stories tall and flaming like the hellish realm he had conquered in Bor's time. 

Thor had been very aware in that moment of the intense heat, the sweat dripping down his neck to stain his leathers, and most of all, his friends standing at his back, protectively encircling Frandral, badly burned and only semi-conscious.  They were expecting Thor to match this foe strike for strike and shield them, and Thor's heart had thrummed at the challenge. 

Then, the Bifrost came down.

"Surtr declared war on Asgard before retreating to rally his forces.  The coward did not dare challenge my father in open combat--"

"Of course not," Loki cut in, rolling his eyes.  "Surtr had spent millennia trapped under seal, his power confined, his body atrophying, while the Allfather ruled from Hlidskjalf, consolidating alliances with three other realms and nonaggression pacts with the remainder.  Except Midgard--" he added pedantically, "which didn't even know about the other eight realms and thus obviously could not be treated with."

"Regardless, war spread like a contagion across the branches of Yggdrasil.  Father punished me for my role in its ignition by sending me here. I thought it was to deny me the glory of fighting on the front lines, but I came to realize that it was to show me the wondrous peoples my foolishness had endangered."  For some reason, Loki scowled at this, slumping lower in his chair in a way most unbecoming for a prince. 

Thor continued on, "Midgard felt the edge of the fire giants' fury, but I assure you the other realms burned hotter.  I was able to rejoin the fighting as we beat Surtr back towards the trunk of Yggdrasil.  The battle was the most intense I have ever been party to, and our victory hard-won.”

It was the greatest privilege to fight on the branches of Yggdrasil itself before the days of Ragnarok.  Here was a place even gods felt small, but Thor’s heart could not be lightened by the glory of this field of battle, knowing as he did that he beget the conflict.

The wide boughs could never truly be crowded, for the World Tree had room for all to stand, but Muspelheim’s forces shrouded the Tree’s perpetual twilight in noxious smoke.  With such trickery, it was hard to tell their numbers, or how great a victory each press into the fire giants’ lines granted the allied armies.

Yet no smoke could hide the blazon of Surtr’s power.  There, Thor knew, his father fought, and there, Odin had forbidden his son from interfering in the clash of kings.

The lower imps of Muspelheim could not burn as noble a tree as the Great Ash, but their flame scorched Aesir and elf and dwarf well enough.  Thor stood for Asgard, but also with the armies of Vanaheim and Alfheim and Svartálfaheim, and he fought for all realms.  Though it was his lack of wisdom that had brought them to this moment, Thor thought he could now understand the great responsibility of Asgard’s king:  to not contend only for his own realm’s peace but all the realms, for any war of Asgard’s would drag all the Nine into conflict.

“Alas, even as Odin bound Surtr once again into the bowels of Muspelheim, the fiend lashed out with his sword and cut Yggdrasil’s trunk."

"Now, it becomes my story!  Let me tell it, Thor."  Loki straightened up like an arrow shot.  "Out of that wound, the sap of Yggdrasil began to flow, its vitality attracting predators from the shadowed places beyond the Nine Realms.  Despite their efforts, Asgard was at a loss, for nothing dwarf-forged or elf-woven or Aesir-casted could touch the sap and last.  The only solution was the living ice of Jotunheim."  He preened a little.

"When are we getting to the marriage part of this story?" Clint asked and then straightened, shifting his body a centimeter away from Natasha.  "What?  That was the question Coulson asked."

"I pray you grant me your patience a little longer, Hawk's Eye, for it is my world's ice that our marriage is moored in."  He held up his right hand, palm up, and the room watched as the pale skin darkened into deep indigo.  In the center of his palm, ice grew with a crinkling sound into a delicate cup, the edges shaped as a many-petaled flower.  "All Jotun possess the ability to manipulate the living ice--some more than others, I more than most--but to create one of the truly great works requires the Cask of Ancient Winters." 

He set the cup down on the table and slid it across to Natasha.  "My lady," he said, bobbing his head.

"The Casket was taken by Odin as the peace price after the war between our worlds many centuries ago," Thor said.  "Father refused to return such a powerful artifact--"

"And my father refused to simply do Asgard's bidding, as if we were vassals and our relationship with the living ice was something the Allfather could command--"

"So the solution was for Loki to marry into Odin's house," Coulson surmised. 

"Exactly," Loki beamed.  "The Casket was given to me as a marriage gift.  Straight after the wedding feast, we journeyed into the inner branches and fought our way past strange and fearsome beasts till we reached the trunk. There, I sculpted a vast spout that would direct the sap down into the well Hvergelmir while the tree healed."  He smiled in remembrance.  "It was a most excellent adventure."

"And exceedingly brave," Thor agreed, lifting one large hand to smooth the back of Loki's head.

"I'm confused," Tony cut in, "and that's not something I like saying.  Before you slowpokes got here, Loki said he chose Thor.  Where's the choice in that story?"

Loki looked nonplussed.  "It was negotiated that I could chose between the Allfather's four sons whom to wed.  I spent two weeks in Asgard accepting courting overtures before deciding on Thor."

"Only two weeks?" Steve couldn't help sounding dismayed.

"Our worlds were in peril," Thor pointed out.  "The armies of five realms spent those two weeks constantly flung about by the Bifrost repelling threats.  Not that I resent Laufrey's demand--" he added hastily to Loki.  "I too am glad for those two weeks, which necessitated that I win your affection rather than be granted it."

Loki beamed, and it was all very sweet, but Tony still had a million barely contained questions.  Coulson beat him to it.

“Thank you, Loki, for sharing that story with us.  I’d like to hear more details later, but right now I need to start the team’s debriefing on today’s mission, and unfortunately all SHIELD meetings are confidential.  Do you understand what that means?”

“It means you wish to exclude me from the proceedings irrespective of my status as Thor’s wife or my own feats in today’s battle.”  The temperature in the room dropped a few noticeable degrees.

“Yes, that’s what it means exactly,” Coulson agreed, unfazed.  “While we have the deepest respect for your assistance in defending the Earth, you are not a sworn member of SHIELD and do not have top secret clearance.  I have agents who will wait with you in the hall and assist you with anything you might need.  Have you ever tried soda?” 

“Have you ever tried babysitting?”  Bruce asked.  “Maybe Loki’s first introduction to Earth cuisine shouldn’t be junk food.”

Thor and Loki both looked appalled.  “You would feed Loki refuse and castoffs?”  Thor banged his fist on the table.  “I will not have Loki’s food be inadequate--”

“Hold up!”  Steve held up his hands for peace.  “Junk food isn’t undesirable food, Thor.  It’s food that doesn’t have any nutritional value.”  He shared a commiserating look with Thor.  “You know they use slang constantly.”

“Too bad, buddy,” Tony added.  “That’s the tradeoff.  Either it tastes good, or it’s good for you.”

“People--” Coulson said.

“That is not true,” Bruce cut in, in what became the start of a fifteen minute argument where Thor became increasingly bewildered about the modern food supply chain.  When Clint decided to contribute by explaining the disaster of New Coke, Coulson slammed his portfolio of reports down onto the conference table.

“We are getting off track.  As usual.”  He didn’t wait for a reply.  “Loki, could you join the agents out in the hall?  Anything they bring you will come from Stark’s kitchen.  Thor, you know Stark buys only the best.”  Tony opened his mouth, and then, on reconsideration under Coulson’s placid stare, shut it again.

“Aye.”  Thor turned to Loki.  “The agents of SHIELD are good people.  You can trust them to attend to your needs, and I will be along shortly.  Will you be all right?”

“I will be fine, Thor.”  Loki reached out with his right hand and cupped Thor’s cheek, while Thor mirrored him, lifting his own hand and engulfing the side of Loki’s face from chin to ear.  They held the touch for a few seconds before Loki slid out of his chair and exited the room.  There was only silence after the door slid shut.

“What is it, my friends?” Thor asked, not unaware of their stares.

“It’s just, you’re a little...” Tony made an incomprehensible, wobbly hand gesture.  Possibly it would have made sense with two hands, but he was unwilling to relinquish the scotch.

“What was that?” Natasha said.  She lifted one hand to lightly cup her own cheek in mimicry.

“Loki’s cleverness.”  Thor beamed, always ready to share Loki’s ingenuity.  “Friends clasp arms, and lovers kiss, but Loki is not old enough to be a lover and closer than a comrade, so he devised such an embrace for our greeting and farewell.”

Coulson took the opening.  “Does that mean your marriage is not consummated?”

“Of course not!  Loki is but a child.”  He hesitated and then added, “Though I fear that may be the cause of his visit.”  There was a pause, as Thor expected them to grasp his intimation.

“No, you’re going to have to explain that,” Clint said.

“My friends, it is of a delicate nature.  I ask that you not repeat this where Loki might overhear.”  He paused a moment to marshal his thoughts.  “My marriage to Loki was unexpected.  I do not regret doing my duty to Asgard and the Nine Realms, but I had thought I had several more centuries before the duties of the throne would require me to be handfasted.” 

He spread his hands imploringly.  “I am still a young man with healthy appetites.  In agreeing to my marriage, I had not anticipated on abstaining from them.  I took a discreet lover in my dear companion Sif, but gossip still spread.  The rumormongers whispered that Sif would be my true queen and Loki a figurehead to placate the jötnar.”  Thor’s face darkened.  “And they were not careful in who heard their fictions.  Loki learned of this malicious chatter and was deeply wounded.  Sif and I publicly broke off our arrangement in an amicable fashion, but the damage had been done.  Loki became insecure about his status in Asgard, and there were many in court eager to use any further dalliance to prove me unfaithful in spirit as well as in body.  It seemed prudent to leave for a realm not related to Asgard’s court.”

Tony burst out laughing, tried to collect himself, and broke down in laughter again.  “Earth is your intergalactic booty call?”

“You slander a good woman with your coarse jargon,” Thor warned.

“You packed up and moved to a different _planet_ because sex would be easier here,” Clint pointed out.  “It’s not her we’re laughing at.”  Natasha nodded, casually lifting a hand to half-cover the way her lips rose.

“I’ve flown thousands of miles in the course of getting laid, but never solar systems,” Tony mused.  “I’m going to need to step up my game.”

“How could Loki know about you and Jane?  Who would have told him?” Bruce asked.

“Loki has been quickly progressing in his sorcerous studies, and when he arrived, he mentioned scrying our battle.  If he watched me at other times, it’s possible he’s seen...more than would be advisable.”  Thor grimaced, and Clint whistled in sympathy.

“No parental controls on magical artifacts?” Natasha said.

“Not as such,” Thor agreed.

“It sounds you’re in a difficult situation,” Steve sympathized, “but that kid’s got a lot of pride.  Avoiding the issue doesn’t seem to be doing either of you any favors.”

Thor sighed.  “It is as you say.”

“No time like the present.”  Tony clapped his hands together.  “I’ll order pizza, beer, and ice cream for consolation when that conversation inevitably goes to hell.”  He looked around at the disapproving faces.  “What?  ‘I’m sorry, it’s not you, it’s me.  I think I should be able to bang other people’ is not a conversation that ever goes well.  Trust me.”

“Thank you, my friends, for giving me counsel on this issue.  Regardless of its difficulty, I shall talk to Loki straight away.”

“After our meeting finishes,” Coulson corrected.  He looked around at all the baffled faces.  “This is a debriefing for the alien incursion you _just_ defeated.”

“But Thor’s marital woes are so much more interesting,” Tony complained, but the rest of the team was focused again on protocol.

Steve went first.  “I took the call from SHIELD that there were high levels of radiation appearing in lower Manhattan around Bleecker Street...”

Each Avenger gave their account, and then there were several questions for Thor about the Casket of Ancient Winters before Coulson was satisfied enough to let them go.  Just outside the door, Loki sat on a low bench, flanked by two alert agents.  He did not lift his head as the team exited, watching his feet as he swung them back and forth.

Thor knelt down before him and tried to catch his eye.  “Loki, I am glad you have come to Earth, for there are things we must discuss.”  He reached out to clasp Loki’s shoulder, and his hand passed through Loki’s form, creating sparks of golden light that spread until the copy broke apart and vanished. 

“Loki?” Thor called out, looking both directions, but there was no sign of him.  “Loki!”


End file.
